Michael,My new friend Alex and I are having some media issues and I implore you to not read the paper for the next few days. It's a little embarrassing as while working out, Alex decided he had an infection or something, and injected himself with some liquids. It made his arms, legs and head bigger but don't worry, I didn't take any as my head is big enough. His name has been all over the local newspapers and on the internet which I read in the beautiful Fletcher Free Library in downtown Burlington. You should go read a book sometimes, the librarians are worried about you only reading Glamour magazines.
Apparently, Alex also played baseball for some professional team, the Yankees? Must be from north of us in Scranton. Anyway, he and I and his rather crude, older female friend will be out of touch for a while until, as he says, "The heat dies down." His female is nice enough but wears strange clothes and sings a lot. She said her name but I didn't quite catch it, Banana, or Madama or MacDonna? She has bleached blonde hair and is not attractive in the least, unlike my old love Angela.
That's all I can tell you for now Michael, but we are fine. Apparently, this Alex makes lots of money so we are headed to the Marriot Hotel downtown to relax and sit in the hot tub. We need to have peace and quiet because even though this blonde woman calls him a rod, people walking the streets have been calling Alex a hole.
And if you can explain what these Yankee fellows are to me, that would help me a lot. As far as I can tell, they seem to be a team that gets beaten severely by a group of men wearing red socks each year in October.
Sincerely,
Dwight Schrute
Former Assistant (to the) Regional Manager
Dunder-Mifflin, Scranton Branch
Dwight,
ReplyDeletethanks for mentioning me in your blog... you're a cutie...
MacDonna (ha ha!)
Just like the title of my song, he said he was one too, so the newspapers have to be wrong. He's never done it before.
ReplyDelete