Michael,
Despite the fact that in several months, I've never heard back from you, I have decided to come back to the hallowed ground and sacred land of Scranton, PA. I don't miss you so much as the paper business itself. And I need to check on my beets as my cousin really doesn't know much about them, except for hitting himself over the head with the stems as punishment.
Why haven't you written me? Or you so depressed that I'm not in The Office each day? Don't worry, I'll be back this week to get the place back into shape. I'm sure that malcontent Jim Halpert hasn't been doing any work at all. And Andy, well, I'm may just have to challenge him to a duel when I return.
I shall also attempt to re-woe the lovely Angela, despite her mistakes with Andy, I shall bring her back to the Dwight-side.
I am also bringing a friend back with me. He's a little strange but who isn't in our Office? If you don't like him, I'll just head back out on the road again. You see, I've changed since I've been gone. No more Mr. Nice Guy, I'm hard as nails now, living life on the road. If you had seen the things I've seen, you would cringe, Michael. Terrible, awful things happen in front of Old Navy each day. And in front of Brooks, oh, I can't even think about it.
It has been fun but I have missed my mentor, and the paycheck somewhat. So I shall return.
Sincerely,
Dwight Schrute
Soon to be Assistant (to the) Regional Manager Once More
Dunder-Mifflin, Scranton Branch
